![]() Me: “That is not happening! You’d better go call in a report, and I don’t appreciate your trying to blackmail me.” You give me a twenty, and I won’t report the accident or the license.” Me: “What? No, I just don’t want to see insurance go up over something trivial.” ![]() Man: “Why are you worried about reporting? Do you not have a license or something?” I think it’s best not to report anything.” Me: “It doesn’t look like any damage was done. Still, I pulled over to check my car, as did the person who had hit me. Luckily, it was a very small bump the car was barely moving and likely wouldn’t do any real damage. Ironically, my caution was rewarded with a light bump from the car behind me, as the driver apparently presumed I was going to turn and wasn’t ready for me to stop. I ended up stopping short right before the merge as I realized the car I would be pulling in front of was speeding so fast that it would cover the distance before I could get up to speed on the road. I was on a long drive a ways from home and was trying to turn into a lane. He happened to be inspecting that particular and found a note in their break room with six words on it: Some years later, however, he was working a new job as a kitchen inspector. He ate his meal and got back to work in time. Then, he pointed at the mess and shouted: Running low on time to eat lunch, Bass stormed back in, slammed the open sandwich down, and then spread it across the countertop. They made him a replacement sandwich, he went out to his car and opened the wrapper, and it was once again just a regular. He walked in and asked again for a, only extra pickles. ![]() Bass parked in the parking lot to eat it, but when he opened the sandwich, it was just a regular. If you were one second late back from lunch, you were LATE.īass drove down to the nearest for lunch, went through the drive-thru, and ordered a meal, only extra pickles. Some time ago, he was working for a boss who was super strict about clocking in. I’m going to call him “Bass” because that’s the instrument he plays in my dad’s band. This is a story told to me by one of my dad’s best friends. It turned out that the man was trying to demonstrate that the hose from the showerhead was not connected well to the tap and was leaking. The improper gesture: making a ring with your thumb and index finger and then “thrusting” your other index finger through it. I could have used some help, you know?”Ĭoworker #1: “No, no, we’re not mocking you! I’m just amazed!”Ĭoworker #2: “Me, too! I had no idea what he was talking about! How did you ever come to the conclusions of the plaster or the wires?!”Ĭoworker #1: “And I still have no idea what he meant with the…” My coworkers start to laugh when the man leaves the building. The client goes away - happy, presumably. I call an inspector and he’s available the next day. ![]() Me: “Well, since I’m calling an inspector for the wires and the ceiling, I will also ask him to check out that rubber for you.” He mumbles and makes a gesture that, at least in the Netherlands, means “wanna f***”. Me: “I think the plaster might be coming loose from your ceiling. Man: “Yes! Yes! Raining white sand and little girl cry, cry!” Me: “Hold on… Are you saying stuff comes from the ceiling? Like… eh, sand? Is it raining sand?” Man: “And showerhead… and little girl, cry, cry, cry! Water come…” *mumbles* “…and then plick-plick-plick.” Me: “Do you mean from the wires? Can you see the wires?” Me: “Eh… the light… Do you mean sparks are coming from it? Eh… little stars?” He makes weird gestures while saying, “Fssssh…” The man walks to the nearby wall, pretends to click on the light, and then “draws” a line from the “light switch” to the ceiling. Man: “No, no! When water, then fsh-fsh-fsh. Me: “Do you mean the water is not coming out of the shower head? Or that it’s very soft?” Man: “No, no!” *Mumbles* “Not showerhead, but when water…” *mumbles* “…and then fsh-fsh-fsh.” And something went wrong with the showerhead?” Me: “I see you indeed had a new bathroom installed. Me: “Okay, you said you got a new bathroom. This is about 70% of our clientele, so we always do our best to understand what people are talking about. Whenever the man mumbles, it is in another language, so it’s easy to conclude that the man does not speak Dutch well. Man: “I’m here…” *mumbles* “…again…” *mumbles* “…new bathroom…” *mumbles* “…showerhead…” *mumbles* “…and fsh-fsh-fsh.” I’m sitting at the walk-in client desk with two coworkers. ![]() I work in an office where we rent out houses. ![]()
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